On the Origin of Suffering

So I meditate a lot. Once a day. Every morning. I’ve been meditating for probably a couple of years with only some small breaks.  Its been an interesting (and beneficial) experience, but that is not what I wanted to write about today. Rather I want to share a not-so-original insight from my meditation sessions today.

What meditation (or “mindfulness”) allows you to do is to be AWARE, instead of being swept away with the stream of the mind.  It allows you to stand at the edge of the bank and be AWARE of the stream, to see the water flowing, but not to fall into the water of the mind’s incessant thoughts and to be swept away by them, losing awareness and becoming lost and intertwined in the stream.

During this morning’s sessions, I was aware of thoughts that were dragging me into the future.  And I was also aware of other thoughts, which were dragging me into past events.

These particular future events were attended by emotions of worry, what-ifs, potential and unrealised pain and disaster.

The past event were full of hurt and loss and regret.

The present – was only awareness.  Living in the moment as they say.

I’m sure what I’m saying is old hat to Buddhists, I think that was one of the Buddha’s big realizations that suffering is caused by these things (could be grossly wrong here, I’m not familiar with Buddhist philosophy).

Both the past and present are gone and we have no control over them, yet these “tenses” are I would say definitely cause the majority of our suffering.

Being fully PRESENT allows you to EXPERIENCE what is happening right now, being AWARE of emotions and thoughts, but not being swept away by them which can cause unnecessary suffering.

Meditation has a LOT of subtle but profound benefits (more on that later). It is something that needs to be EXPERIENCED.  Even if I describe it perfectly, I could never do the benefits of meditation justice unless you actually feel it for yourself.

As an action point and a great starting point – start with HeadSpace.

 

Do 10 minutes of meditation per day for 10 days using their app.

BTW I did a bit of browsing now on Buddhist related teachings on this topic and here are a couple of interesting quotes:

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. It is founded on our thoughts. It is made up of our thoughts. If one speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows one, as the wheel follows the foot of the ox that draws the wagon.

 

According to Buddha, there are four stages of deeper concentration called Dhyana: 1) The first stage of concentration is one in which mental hindrances and impure intentions disappear and a sense of bliss is achieved. 2) In the second stage, activities of the mind come to an end and only bliss remains. 3) In the third stage, bliss itself begins to disappear. 4) In the final stage, all sensations including bliss disappear and are replaced by a total peace of mind, which Buddha described as a deeper sense of happiness.

Note:  I am talking about religion at all.  Buddhist thought though has a lot to say on mindfulness and thousands of years of experience relating to it, so I believe there is a lot to learn from Buddhist views on this topic.

Further Reading:

 

 

9 Strategies to Cure Internet & Phone Addiction, Stop Distraction & Be More Mindful

Distraction is something that plagues me and I’m sure you as well.

These days we are bombarded by constant advertising & messages, vying for our attention, trying to suck us in.

I know that this is a constant struggle for me.

To the point that I have become addicted to the internet. Addicted to my phone.  When I’m not plugged into the net I feel irritated and irritable – classic withdrawal symptoms.

And I bet that most of you reading this also feel something similar. Maybe you’re not aware of it, but if not – then you should be.

What are the things that distract me most?

Apps

Apps and games on my phone are big culprits.

Facebook is particularly bad.  When I enter it I find myself scrolling for a long time. It is highly addictive.

Instagram is similarly bad.

Notifications from games often send me over to play them and I can lose an hour easily.

Going over to Google Now and reading the news.  Or heading over to news websites.

Getting notifications from my work related apps – email, slack.

Web

On the web, I often find myself doing useless tasks – such as checking analytics, checking revenue reports for our apps.  (It’s OK to find a scheduled time to do this, but I find it generally is a bad habit).

Facebook on the web, like mobile, can suddenly waste unintended time.

I can also spend quite a bit of time watching TV series online.  I start with one. Then another. Then another.  And then hours have gone.  Not that watching TV series is totally bad, but spending a whole evening binge watching doesn’t leave me feeling better.

Curing Modern Day Distraction

So, here are some solutions for our modern day distractions.

1) Delete apps that you have no use for from your phone

I deleted Instagram – it was purely voyeuristic, so that is out.

2) Nuke the internet on your phone

I just started doing this today – this is a great one.  Turn off wifi and mobile data and voila! Suddenly your phone is a phone once again and not a high end pocket sized computer.  No more distractions.  Instead only turn on the internet only if you really need to – and then turn it back off!

This allows me to check in to work related stuff when I’m mobile, but not to get distracted by all the notifications coming in.

3) Leave your phone at home

This is also great.  If you go out with friends or with your spouse, then consider leaving your phone at home.

My girlfriend and I have started doing this from time to time and it feels SO freeing to be out without the safety blanket that we mindlessly reach for in our pockets.

I need to do this more!

4) Turn off notifications from apps

I switched off notifications from all the apps that I found distracting.

Facebook I didn’t delete – because I need this for my work testing FB login to our apps and competitor apps and I’m in some business related groups which are important for me.  But I shut off all notifications from FB so that I would only go into the app on my own accord and not because I got some silly notification.

5) Get a feature phone?

I have a friend who still carries around an old Nokia that can only make calls and SMSs! No internet!

Personally I find it too useful and important for my business to be able to respond to my team when I’m mobile, but this is a brave and possibly sensible step for some.

6) Don’t put your phone next to your bed at night

I’ve been doing this for a while and this is great.

If the phone is next to me in my bedroom then I will automatically reach to it before I go to sleep to check stuff. And when I wake up I’ll automatically reach for phone and get sucked into its endless labyrinth, ruining the mindfulness that I’m trying to cultivate.

So when I go to sleep I leave my phone in the family room, set the alarm and head off to bed… phoneless!

Highly recommended.

7) Schedule Screen-free time

I’ve been trying to institute screen-free time before I go to sleep.

I’ve set an alarm for 21:30 at night which is supposed to remind me to shut off all screens (phone, computer – I don’t have a TV at home!).

… and 2230 I have an alarm which is supposed to remind me to get into bed.

I’ve been a bit ‘naughty’ with these rules, so I’ll need to try and push these habits a bit harder.

8) Use web apps that block sites and internet

I’ve been using StayFocusd which is a web app for Chrome which can let you easily block certain sites or limit the amount of time you spend on those sites (and even sites linked to from those sites!)

It also has a “nuclear” option to block all problematic sites or even switch off the internet completely for a certain amount of time…

Theres another app that seems quite popular, Freedom, which I have yet to try – works on iPhone, iPad, and Mac and Windows.

For android devices there are apps like ClearLock which might do the trick… downloading that one right now!

And this one seems REALLY cool! Forest dubs itself “the best cure for phone addiction”!

9) Find more productive things to do when you are disconnected

Now that you’ve freed up a lot of your spare time, you should fill it in with something more useful and productive.

Some things that I do or would like to do (or do more of):

Go for a phone-free walk with your spouse.

Meditate.

Write a blog post.

Journal.

Exercise (I like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu), running.

Read.

Meet up with friends.

Speak to friends.

Summary

I hope this helps you.  In these modern times I think way too many of us are internet and phone addicts.  I know I am and by taking these steps above I hope you and I can become less distracted & more mindful in our every day lives!